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“Everyone is looking for
their soulmate. Take our Love Test and find out : Is She the
One?”
Oh God, these things look so stupid. I saw the quiz in a
magazine. There’s a photo of a couple looking into each other’s eyes, and it’s
decorated with drawings of cupids and love-hearts. I mean, please. As if you
can find out she’s ‘the One’ by
answering few silly questions, Like, for example:
I and my girl go together like :
a) Heer and Ranjha
b) Romeo and Juliet
c) Tom and Jerry
d) None of the above
Honestly, how ridiculous! How can a pair be like Tom and
Jerry? I turned a page, and found an “Ask Doctor Uncle” page with some
questions from people suffering from this and that…Errrr.. I can’t read that.
So, maybe that dumb quiz isn’t so bad. After all, it has got to be more fun
than reading about who is ill and what kind of illness he/she is having . Eeeks
whatever!
Quickly I turn back to it. OK, here we go with another MCQ. .
.
Whenever you think about her, do you get butterflies?
a) Yes, always
b) Sometimes
c) Never
Well, I wouldn’t call them butterflies exactly. In fact, it’s
been so long the butterflies have probably grown up and flown away. Now it’s
more of an ache. Not like the terrible toothache, but may be like an headache.
I go plump for b) Sometimes
- How
long have you liked her?
a) Less than
six months
b) A year
c) More than
a year
My mind flicks back. We met in the winter of 2006. I was
nineteen. Which makes it . . . my mind
does the calculation, OK, so it’s four years.
So what? Four years are
nothing. My father has known my mom for twenty eight years. Yes, but your mom’s
married to him, says a little voice inside me. Ignoring it, I quickly tick
option c. Fine, next question
Can you see yourself
getting married to this girl?
a) 100%
b) 50%
c) Zero
Well, that one is easy. It is zero. In fact, I’d say the
chances of marrying her are less than zero. But that’s FINE. I’m perfectly ok
with it.
All right, so
in the past I might have thought about it. And maybe for a moment I would have
imagined myself in brown Sherwani and her in a red wedding dress, with some
ornaments looking like a perfect Indian Bride. Dancing our first dance under
the “Its Rocking.. Its Rocking” on DJ. Leaving for our honeymoon to some hill
station. . .
Coming back,
I notice I’ve been absent mindedly making a heart around a) 100%. Oh…Shit. What
did I do that for? Frustrated, I grab my pen and start scribbling over it
furiously. It is not as if that means anything. I suddenly realize I was
pressing so hard that the page got torn.
Do your friends think you
are obsessed with this girl?
Hmm… come on… I think about her from time to time, but I would
not say I am obsessed. Not at all. I mean, I am not disturbing her with
Facebook messages Or Googling her relentlessly. OK, I confess, I Googled her
thrice…. maybe five times…
Oh, all
right, so I have lost count over the four years. But so what? Who has not gone
home and Googled a girl they are in love with?
Hang on!!! Did I just say the Love word?
I didn’t mean that at all! It is this silly quiz - its making
me think all kinds of things…. I tick b) No.
As the minute
hand of the clock moved I continue through the questions. They helped me pass
the time. Just on the last question . . .
Which film best describes
your relationship?
a) Titanic
b) Romeo and
Juliet
c) Love Story
. . .when I suddenly hear the announcement - ‘The Next Station
is Tronica City, Doors will open on the Left’ - and I realize I’m nearing my
stop.
Stuffing the
magazine into my bag, I started to make my way through the packed crowd which
had increased from Station Road, sometimes crashing into someone by mistake and
saying “Sorry”. Of course, no one pays any attention. Since last few months, I
have been noticing that all my ‘Sorry’ and ‘Excuse me’ fall on deaf ears.
It’s not that
Citizens here are rude. It’s just that my way of apologizing for almost
everything has zero effect. They don’t understand what I am apologizing for. To
be
honest, half the time I too don’t know what I am apologizing
for. It is something I do like a habit. Like logging on to Facebook and
checking out the inbox every five minutes.
Exiting the
station, I pause at the pedestrian crossing to study the direction of the road
on the big green board, which tells me for Rockway Street I have to cross the
road. Some people have sort of inbuilt GPS, a bit like pet dogs. You can drop
them anywhere and they will find their way home before you do. Not me, I get
lost whenever I go to any area after a gap of few months.
I am stumped.
Today, I neither had tea after work, nor I am aware of the shop here. Looking
up and down the street in frustration, I give up and asked myself “Who the hell
told you to come here?”
“Excuse me??”
I turned to see a fellow girl standing next to me, waiting to
cross. She looked at me quizzically. Oh my God, did I just say that out loud?
‘Errrrr. .’ I
was embarrassed. ‘Never cross a road while light is red,’ I said whatever came
to my mind. She stared at me ‘Sure,’ she replied.
Feeling totally uncool, I
look away and pray for the lights to change quickly. ‘Oh, look, now we can
cross,’ I announce with a relief, and shooting her with an awkward smile, I
crossed the road with the crowd.
Walking past
some food outlets, I glance at the couple’s cozying up together over a romantic
meal. I move on quickly. Once upon a time there was a princess of mine, but we
didn’t end up living happily ever after. Like I said I am fine with it. It was
a long time ago. I have moved on. In fact, since then I have dated loads of
different girls.
Well, perhaps
not loads, but surely few. And some of them were really nice. Like, my last
girlfriend, Shreya. We met at a party and dated for a couple of months, but it
was never that serious. I mean, she was good fun, and the enjoyment was not
bad. It’s just……
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